Inside My Head

Been inside my own head a lot this week, especially tonight. Just trying to process things and figure out some recent events that have occurred. To be quite honest, this has been one heck of an emotional week for me and I'm still not able to let go of all of it. Hence the 5am posting, since I woke up about 1.5 hours ago and can't turn this brain of mine off!

This week it has hit me like a ton of bricks that I have NO IDEA what I want right now when it comes to a relationship. I mean, I know to some extent WHAT I want, but it's the finding it that boggles me I suppose. I'm ready to just throw in the towel and take a break from it all. I have made my life so scheduled and filled with important committees and activities, that I feel "double booked" for my own LIFE! In reality, I'm someone who needs to remain fairly busy at all times, or else I get bored and unhappy. But the truth is, I want to find a reason to slow down. I want to find that person that is worth slowing down for...I'm not trying to rush it, as I know it will happen as it is meant to, but goodness it will be nice when it arrives.

I had a really horrible week at work. And by really horrible, I mean it was of the "come home and cry variety." It was really difficult for me to not have a special someone to come home to...to vent my frustrations to or to just get a hug from. Someone to just kiss my forehead and remind me that it will all be okay and I need to just relax and let things blow over. I know that it will all be okay, but sometimes you just want someone to snuggle you and say it out loud, you know?

Luckily I do have one amazing sister, two great parents, one wonderful friend (who supplies pizza AND wine when I need to explode so I don't self destruct) and another awesome crazy chica who makes this weekend something worth looking forward to! I am certainly blessed, there is no doubt about that.

They say that you attract what you give off. So, starting right now...right this very second...I am turning my attitude around. No more over-thinking, no more being sad and stressed out, no more dwelling on misinterpreted words that cannot be changed. I'm leaving this week behind me and looking forward to tomorrow with a positive attitude. Maybe now that I got this out of my head, I can get a few hours of sleep. We'll see...